


I've Been Saving All My Summers For You

by Clarisse_Renaldi



Category: The Princess Diaries - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 19,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29023167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clarisse_Renaldi/pseuds/Clarisse_Renaldi
Summary: The Queen is suffering in a bad marriage, fighting with eating disorder and depression, but fortunately Joseph is there for her and he brings her back to life...
Relationships: Joseph/Clarisse Renaldi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

"Can I come in?" asked Joseph from the Queen at the upstairs private quarters of the beach house.

"It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway," she answered, trying to hide behind the door. While Joseph took a quick look around as a security checking he was on to catch her face. He perfectly knew that something was wrong with her and he didn't have to wait too long before he finally could see her teary eyes.

"You ok?" he asked softly and stopped her before she would turn around.

"Yes. Yes, of course."

"You do not seem okay to me."

"It's nothing really." her voice was a bit bashful. "I just had a bad day, that's all." Joseph just looked at her for a moment then decided it's better to leave it on her.

"I... I just wanted to go downstairs to have dinner. You should come with me, everybody is in the kitchen and these dinners are so much fun."

"No, thank you." she answered on the same voice then added, "I don't want to ruin the night."

"Don't say that. I'm sure they would be happy if you would join."

"I mean I'm not too happy and I don't want to kill the mood."

"But you have to eat dinner at least... right?"

"Well, I already ate..." she tried, but he finished her sentence.

"This morning, yes."

"I think you're right."

"I'm sure breakfast is not enough for a whole day, so if you don't want to come down, then I'll bring dinner up and eat with you... but just if it's okay."

"Um..." she hesitated for a moment, "Of course, feel free."

"Fine, then I'll be right back." winked Joseph and left her alone. As he closed the door behind him, he felt a bit better. Since he knew her - what was only a few months - she was always so sad and lonely. When she didn't have an official program she just spent her time in her room with sleeping, or just sat in her living room staring into space. She awfully could not find her place. Her husband was busy all the time, and he always left her alone for days. She was the loneliest woman Joseph has ever seen and he couldn't stop himself from helping. He perfectly knew he crosses that line, but he so desperately wanted to make her smile again.

"Here's the dinner..." he remarked with a smile, putting down the big tray onto an impromptu dining table, what Clarisse cleared from other things.

"It smells wonderful." she said, finally smiling a bit. "But a bit too much, don't you think?" He could see the uncertainty on her,

"You eat as much as you like, okay?" He remarked softly and saw her relaxing. She was like a poor wounded animal. "Come and sit down."

"Okay."

"And here's some drink..."

"Orange juice?" she was a bit surprised. "Maybe a little white wine or..."

"I'll bring you some wine if you want, but I've thought orange juice is a bit more... nutritious."

"Oh, I see." she nodded with a grateful smile. "Juice will be perfect, thank you."

"...So what have you planned for tonight?" he asked, taking a bite, but she just looked at him with glassy eyes.

"..."

"You know I have not much choice, so my plan was an eight hour long standing at your door, but I think you have a few options."

"Oh... I just wanted to go to bed early."

"When I came in you said you couldn't sleep... you meant?"

"Yes," she looked down.

"But it's only seven o'clock..."

"I know."

"Clarisse..." he sighed and waited until she looked up at him, "It's not okay, you know that?"

"Of course I know." she said and tried to not cry. "You really think I don't know?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you I just... I just wanna help you."

"But you can't." she whispered, when he softly touched her arm.

"I can, believe me."

"...why are you so sure?"

"Because I want it... I truly want it like no-one else before."

"The truth is no-one ever tried," she remarked and there was silence for a while, before Joseph grabbed her hand,

"But I will."

"Why... why do you want it so much? Frankly..." she added the last bit and finally looked right into his eyes, but Joseph just smiled. "...That's your answer?"

"Is it enough?" he asked still smiling.

"Yeah, I think so..."

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

"This chicken is so tasty," remarked Joseph trying to trick a bit, because she stopped eating for quite a while and just poked the food on her plate.

"Yeah," she replied absently. "Not bad."

"I... I don't really like broccolis you know." he tried, because he saw that was the only thing she ate it all. "But those tomatoes looks nice. So could we..."

"What?" she chuckled on the idea, "You want to swap them?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well... okay." she smiled and carefully passed the tomatoes onto his plate in exchange for the broccolis, and it worked... she started to eat again, so Joseph was quite proud of himself.

"I was thinking that if you would like it... and if you're not too tired of course, we should watch a movie later."

"Oh, that's a good idea... and I'm not tired at all."

"So you like it?"

"Of course," she drank a bit. "And what movie did you think?"

"Anything you like."

"Okay..." she started thinking, "What is out of question is action and crime. Not that I wouldn't like these kind of films, but somehow my nerves couldn't take it nowadays. It's like loud noises when you have a hangover."

"I see. So nothing like that I promise," he winked. "But I think I already know what could work... maybe some old time romantic comedies?"

"Perfect," she finally truly smiled. "I would never have thought of it, but I'm sure that would be a real medicine for me."

"Okay. So we'll finish dinner, they I'll go down and select a few movies while you make yourself comfortable, deal?"

"Deal," she nodded with a smile.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Half an hour later Clarisse was already in bed organizing pillows when Joseph arrived back from downstairs.

"So here are the movies I found and I brought some sweets as well."

"Just give it to me," she reached for the candies like a child, what Joseph found to be adorable.

"So what's your choice?" he asked holding out the DVDs.

"Hm... I think this is the most romantic one. You okay with that?"

"Of course, I love all kind of movies."

"Fine, then we should start with that." he nodded and went to the TV. "And I selected a few cushions for you. I hope they'll be comfortable enough." she added kindly and arranged them next to herself. This was Joseph's time to be hesitant a little, but she fortunately noticed it. "Come now, you decided to eat dinner then watch a movie with me, but now you don't dare to sit next to me?" her smile was so sweet and a bit mischievous, he could not resist.

"Sorry, you're right." he sighed, "But I feel I'm totally crossing that line whole night."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I will tell you if it's not okay."

"Right," he smiled and made himself comfortable next to her...

The movie was simply perfect. Feather like, romantic and funny, just exactly what she needed at the moment.

"Gosh, that was fantastic. This is really one of my all time favorites."

"And I'm not surprised why. It was a really good one." he tried to pull himself together, because he was still dazed by her closeness.

"So you liked it?"

"Yes," he smiled, then he realized she put on a more serious face. "You okay?"

"I just want to say thank you..."

"Thank you for what?" he asked softly.

"Thank you for spending these few hours with me. Maybe it sounds a bit stupid, but..."

"Just tell me..." he braved her.

"You know for the first time in my life... I really felt I was not alone," her eyes were teary, but her smile was grateful. Joseph just looked at her lovingly, then could not resist to lean closer, stopping only inches from her lips whispering 'Is it okay?' and her answer was a simple nod with the sweetest smile he has ever seen. As their lips finally met, the world suddenly slowed down. Their very first kiss was soft and gentle, only a few seconds long.

"Joseph..." she whispered against his lips.

"You want me to go..."

"Joseph..."

"Because I..." but she didn't let him to finish it,

"I just wanted to ask... would you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

"But of course," answered Joseph with shining eyes and watched her lovingly as she was organizing her bedding. A few moments later she was already curled up next to him, snuggling a pillow and he had to realize that her plan was a bit different than his.

"Um... what are you doing with that pillow?"

"With this one?" She asked looking at the one in front of her. "I just usually sleep on my right side and it helps me to... not to lean forward."

"Oh, I see," he nodded, but fortunately has got an idea. "You know, I've read an article about the stress-reducing effects of hugging what is also perfect for the immune system."

"Oh, really?" she smiled, guessing what was this whole thing about.

"Yes. And I think my immune system should really need a little care in the middle of this flu season... just as yours," he was so sweet. "So maybe it would be healthy if you would come a bit closer. What do you think?"

"Flu season?" she chuckled.

"Uh-huh," he smiled watching happily as she moved closer, "It's better not to risk it."

"I definitely agree," she chuckled and cuddled up to him. Resting her head on his chest and feeling his arms around her was the most relaxing thing she has ever experienced, the effect of his closeness was simply magical so after many bad nights she finally could sleep until morning, while he just stroked her back instinctively and tried to not miss a second of the feeling of being with her.

Next morning as she woke up she was fully relaxed, something she didn't feel too often, but not for long, because her bed was empty... at first she thought it was just a dream, but she noticed a little paper on the pillow next to her, it said "Thank you for this wonderful night I could spend with you. I think I'm starting to feel what it's like to be perfectly happy. If you dressed up, come down to the beach. I'm waiting for you, Joseph."

It was the first time in a very long period when Clarisse really enjoyed her morning routine. She took a long shower, choosing a new fragrance and enjoyed the hot water's effect on the muscles in her back, it was like a revival. After the shower she choose one of her white slacks with a matching white sweater and soon she was ready to go...

The beach was heavenly peaceful in the morning sun and she could see Joseph's silhouette from afar, who was sitting at the dock. As she sat down next to him, she realized that he was sleeping.

"Good morning," she whispered with a smile, gently stroking his arm.

"Sorry, it seems I dozed off a bit." he tried to pull himself together.

"How much did you sleep last night?"

"I stayed awake."

"Oh, Joseph..."

"I just didn't want to miss a second of that night," he said and her eyes were shining, "But how did you sleep?"

"Fantastic... and it's just because of you. I think we should do the same every night."

"I'm totally in," he chuckled. "I really do enjoyed last night... every minute of it," he added the last bit while he was playing with her fingers gently.

"Me too. It really helped me a lot."

"You mentioned yesterday that..."

"Just tell me..." she braved him softly.

"...that no-one tried to help you before. How can it be?" he knew he could kill the mood, but he had to ask it.

"Oh, it's simple," she shrugged her shoulders instinctively. "Some people do not realize it, some other people thinks it's just a bad period, nothing serious... some people thinks it's melodrama, some others simply just don't care, and the rest of them thinks I can deal with it."

"I see..." nodded Joseph, "And what about..."

"My husband?"

"Yes... I know it's not my business, but I cannot understand your relationship with him, so I..."

"It's okay. Rupert is... completely busy with his work. He prepared himself for this job in most of his life, he did everything for it and in our relationship I was always the stronger one. I helped him, I arranged everything, I was the rock if you know what I mean and now it's all changed. Now - first time during our marriage - I am the one who needs help not him and he doesn't know what to do with it. It's not a kind of problem you can solve with a pill or a mechanic. It requires lot of care and patience... and patience is time, what he doesn't have."

"If he would really want..."

"But he doesn't really want it," she sighed and looked down.

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

"...But I have everything from what you mentioned," he tried to cheer her up. "So what would you say to eat something for breakfast?"

"I saw you prepared," she smiled, realizing the little basket next to them with full of goodies.

"But of course," he winked. "A light sandwich with fresh Italian ingredients for you?"

"Sounds nice," she chuckled as he handed it, "Thank you."

"And some tea..."

"Um... do I smell coffee there?"

"Coffee is not too healthy you know..." he tried.

"Please..." she asked with puppy eyes, reaching for the thermos and he could not say no.

"But then you have to eat some..."

"What?" she chuckled. "Brussels sprout?"

"If you insists..." he laughed up, "But I think fruit would be ok too."

"Deal, but... later and with you."

"I think it's an invitation I can't refuse."

"An invitation? Really?" she laughed, "Where do you get this from?"

"I think you meant you would like to spend the afternoon with me, eating some fruits and..."

"And?" her smile was mischievous.

"... and relax." he finished, but she could not stop teasing him.

"Uh-huh... or you just don't dare to say what you think."

"I'm not thinking on anything," he playfully held up his hands.

"Don't worry, I'm just teasing you... and yes, I would really like to spend my afternoon with you, it wasn't a question. So fruits and relax as you call it..." she could not stop herself. "And I think I will chose the lodge this time not the main house, so we can be alone."

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm okay from here Shades, thank you."

"As you wish Ma'am," nodded the security guy and Clarisse closed the door behind her.

"Joseph?"

"I'm in the kitchen..." he yelled from inside. "Just follow the smell."

"Oh my, you're cooking?" she asked happily, putting down her coat.

"It's nothing extra just a vegetable soup. I could not resist to these ingredients, everything is so fresh here."

"Yes, that's true... hm, it smells so good." she leant closer.

"I hope you're hungry," he smiled and turned to face with her.

"Yes, awfully."

"...And what was for lunch?"

"Hm?" she tried to be absent minded, while her brain was working on hundred percent.

"You ate lunch during the meeting, right?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, we had lunch of course," she smiled and fortunately Joseph did not realize the hesitation in her voice. "I think I will pack down first."

"Of course, just go..." he remarked with a smile as she walked by him, but then she suddenly stopped and kissed his cheek,

"Thank you."

"Oh, come now." he chuckled. "It's just a soup."

"But no-one ever made me a... soup," she finished then started to laugh, realizing how stupid it may sounded.

"Just wait until I'll roast some beef," he laughed up then quickly became quiet because this time instead of his cheek she simply kissed him on the lips. This kiss was slow and a bit longer as she tried to taste his lips properly. "You know, I really don't know what have I done for this, but I surely want to repeat it," he whispered when they heard an unmistakable noise.

"Oh my..." she chuckled and jumped a bit as he quickly turned off the stove.

"Don't worry, I'm handling the situation."

"I know," she stroked his arm and whispered with a smile, "I'll be in the living room..."

OOOOOOOOO

As Clarisse put down her things she looked around and had an idea. She collected a few cushions and a blanket and made the bedding on the sofa.

"Do you want to eat later?" asked Joseph holding the tray in his hands.

"No, I'm starving. Just put it there."

"I've thought you would like to lay down first."

"What?"

"The bedding..." he pointed to the sofa.

"Oh... that's for you," she smiled.

"For me?" he was a bit hesitate,

"Yes, you stayed up whole night and you fell asleep on the beach so you need rest."

"That's very kind of you, but..."

"No, no. That wasn't a question. You will sleep a bit." she tried to look serious.

"But I cannot protect you if I'm sleeping," he tried.

"You do not need to protect me, after all we are in a high secure property."

"That's not so simple Clarisse," he remarked with a smile while she handed him another cushion.

"Yes it is."

"I won't sleep if I cannot protect you."

"... Right," sighed Clarisse with resignation. "Then let's make a deal."

"Okay."

"I'll make a coffee for you, but until that you'll lay down for a few minutes."

"That's acceptable," smiled Joseph and soon he made himself comfortable on the sofa, while Clarisse went to the kitchen and waited... waited at least twenty minutes before she went back, because she was sure he will fall asleep... and she was right. By the time coffee was made Joseph had already slept... so she sat down onto a big armchair and started to eat the soup he made for her. It had a home brew taste, nothing fancy, but felt so good. After she finished she just sat down to the rug in front of the sofa and just watched him... She not often had the chance to observe his face in details.

He was always somehow close to her heart, but she never really thought there could be something between them. In the past she just toyed with the idea a few times, but since last night everything was more realistic and more impulse. Her feelings were tenfold as before. Since she tasted his closeness, his loving arms and those kisses, she was not able to think on anything else but him...

Watching him and thinking on him was like a magnet for her, she wanted nothing else, but being in his arms again... 'gosh, I'm going crazy...' thought Clarisse as she woke up from daydreaming. Everything happened so fast, within a few seconds she was already sitting on the edge of the sofa, trying to lay down next to him without waking him up. She tried to be as slow as she could, so first she just put up her right leg, then the left one and finally she was laying next to him. A few moments had passed until she finally dared to breathe again, but a second later she already felt his arm around her waist as he was pulling her close to him...

To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

Feeling his loving arm around her body and that soft kiss on her neck made her smile instinctively.

"I didn't want to wake you up," she whispered, stroking his hand on her waist.

"But I'm really glad you did... don't you want to turn around?"

"Yeah, of course... is it better now?" she asked while turning into his arms fully.

"Much better. And I must say that now you are just exactly where you belong." he whispered, finally kissing her on the lips. "This is far more better than sleeping."

"I definitely agree," she murmured between two kisses.

"Anyway, you made a fool of me." he chuckled, breaking the kiss.

"Oh, really? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-uh... making a cup of coffee is a long process, isn't it?"

"Well, for good work time is needed." she teased him.

"That's one thing you have to keep in mind for a few more minutes." he teased her back and continued his butterfly kisses on her neck while she gave herself over to the pleasures. His closeness, his scent and his warm body above hers completely overwhelmed her... but unfortunately they didn't go as far as they want, because someone was knocking on the front door...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"What did Tom want?" asked Clarisse, but she already felt the answer in her stomach.

"I'm so sorry, but I have to go back. It's just a day or less..." and she did not hear the rest of it. A humming silence surrounded her. Her stomach was aching and she felt panic. Panic, that good old feeling, she knew so much. "... you okay?" asked Joseph the second time when she finally came to her senses.

"U-huh," she murmured and tried to look as everything would be alright, but that was not an easy thing at all.

"Sure?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I'll come back tomorrow. Just a night and a few hours... you okay with that? I don't want to leave you here."

"You do not have much choice Joseph... and yes, I'll be fine, don't worry." she smiled weakly, waiting for him to finally leave and she could cry freely when he pulled her back to her senses.

"Clarisse..." he whispered, just looking at her for a few moments before he leant closer and kissed her fully on the lips. This kiss gave her everything she needed at the moment. She felt how much he loved her and it somehow gave her the courage to be alone again, because he will come back to her and make her feel safe from her own self again.

"Just go," she whispered breaking the kiss, stroking his face one last time. Being with Joseph was like a little island where you can relax a bit on your way swimming across the ocean. A little break for her nerves and body...

As she remained alone, reality hit her like a brick. The room what was so colorful and full of life before, now seemed grey and cold. She couldn't find her place anymore, so it seemed better to go back to her room at the main house. She quickly checked around, not to leave anything compromising behind, then went back to her place.

Stepping in, the whole room was quiet, only the clock made some noise on the wall and reminded her to her biggest enemy... Time. She quickly started to calculate how many hours she has to survive, how many hours she has to keep herself busy. Her first idea was sleeping, but it was early in the afternoon, so she needed something to do. Actually anything... Anything what could keep her mind busy and able to forget her fears, but as she looked at the DVDs she finally found it. She decided she'll watch that film again from last night, maybe it will help a little... and she was right. The film made her forget this whole mess and smoothed her nerves for an hour or so, but after it ended she was in reality again. It seemed a stupid idea, but she was thinking on watching it over and over again until she fell asleep...

... and after six or seven hours later she finally really fall asleep and let herself to dream. These hours meant escape from reality and her body and soul needed it desperately. When she woke up it was already in the morning, but the TV was still on from last night. She just wanted to get up and turn it off when Joseph softly knocked on her door and stepped in...

"Good morning my dear..." started Joseph, but he stopped as he looked at her properly. "You're still in your clothes from yesterday."

"Uhm, yes..." she sat up,

"I hope you do not want to tell me that after we said goodbye you just came up and that's all?"

"Well, not really..."

"You are in the same clothes and I bet you haven't eaten since then. Am I right?" he sat down to her bed, grabbing her arm. "Clarisse?"

"Okay, maybe I forgot to eat, but it's not that a big deal..."

"Not a big deal?" he asked trying to not panic, while he was so worried about her. "You barely eat anything if no-one takes care of you. Wait..." something popped to his head, "Yesterday... did you have lunch yesterday?"

"I..." but she could not finish it, just looked down.

"Oh my God, Clarisse..." he whispered and pulled her into his arms, "You can't do this to yourself... you just cannot."

"I know," she nodded and just hugged him tightly as her tears started to flow...

To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

"Please don't cry Clarisse... it was my fault. It was completely my fault," whispered Joseph as he held her tight, trying to comfort her.

"No, it's not..." she pulled away, her eyes were still teary. "How can you say something like that?"

"Yes, it was. I should have paid more attention to you, I..."

"How? How could you have paid more attention Joseph? You did everything you could... Actually, you're the most kind and caring man I've ever met... and not just in the last few days, since we know each other you were the only one who really cared for me and I'm very grateful for that. You..." she stopped for a moment, searching for the right words, "You really means a lot to me."

"I know..." Joseph just watched her lovingly, then added what she still didn't dare to say it loud, "... and I love you too, Clarisse." Seeing her shining eyes and her soft touch on his face worth more than any confession in the world and it made him feel the urge to kiss her immediately. He wanted to kiss her, but suddenly he found it too simple to show her how much she means to him, so he rather kissed her palm... kissed her palm so gently and lovingly that if she hadn't already been in love with him, she would have fallen in love right now. "...I will really try to help you more," he whispered, softly letting her hand go.

"And I will pull myself together, I promise."

"I think that's everything we need... Together we'll make it."

"I'm sure of that," she smiled then looked up at him mischievously. "Actually, it seems I start to feel a bit hungry..."

"Wonderful news," he nodded happily. "So here's the plan... after you're ready, come down to the kitchen."

"You mean to the dining room?"

"No, to the kitchen. Trust me..."

"Okay," she agreed with a smile.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

A little later in the kitchen...

"Good morning everybody."

"Oh Joseph, would you like a cup of coffee?" asked Charlotte.

"Yes, thank you... and as a matter of fact I would like to discuss something with all of you." He said, sitting down and accepting the coffee gratefully, "...thanks."

"It must be something serious... come on Joseph, just say it." Shades braved him.

"Right..." he sighed, "It's about the Queen."

"Is she okay?"

"Well... not really."

"You're frightening us Joseph." Charlotte slowly sat down next to him, "What's wrong with her?"

"She... I mean have you ever seen her eating?"

"What?"

"Any of you, have you ever seen her eating anything?"

"..." there was silence for a few moments.

"You know, I made breakfast yesterday," tried Charlotte. "Then my shift ended, so I don't know what she ate after that."

"Actually nothing, just a little soup... it seems she has serious problems with eating and no-one realized it before."

"Oh my God."

"Poor thing."

"...Can we help somehow?" asked Shades,

"Yes, I have a theory. She is so lonely most of the time, so maybe if she would eat in company..."

"Oh, I see." nodded Charlotte."We can eat with her if she wants."

"That's what I would have wanted to ask. I already told her to join us after she finished with her morning routine."

"Fine," added Shades. "I already had breakfast, but I can eat more from that cinnamon bun, no problem. I sacrifice myself anytime." he said and they finally were in a bit better mood when Clarisse arrived.

"Good Morning everybody." she smiled shyly.

"Good Morning Ma'am," they replied at once and Joseph jumped up immediately, motioning her to sit down.

"Oh please, just Clarisse if I can ask."

"Okay, Clarisse." repeated Joseph with a smile, on everyone's behalf. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Yes, a tea would be fine thank you."

"Here you are... I've just made it freshly." added Charlotte kindly, pouring the hot liquid.

"And what would you say to some fruit salad?"

"Hm, it looks fine," smiled Clarisse, "Okay, I would love some fruits too."

"Very good choice. And what is more, Charlotte already made some omelette for me, so you should try that one also." winked Joseph. "With lots of vegetables..."

"Okay," laughed up Clarisse, "I'll try everything I promise..."

The breakfast lasted at least an hour or so and after the first few minutes they were chatting freely about everything. Clarisse really did enjoy herself, eating quite a few things, so everybody was satisfied with that. After she finished Joseph escorted her upstairs, while the rest of them stayed at the kitchen...

"Charlotte why are you smiling so much?" asked Shades playfully, pouring another cup of coffee.

"Oh nothing... just an old song popped to my head."

"An old song? Which one?"

"...Love is in the air everywhere I look around."

"What?!" laughed up Shades, "What are you talking about?"

"You really don't know?"

"..."

"Don't say that you haven't noticed it..."

"Noticed what?" He really had no clue.

"... The way as Joseph looked at the Queen," smiled Charlotte. "He is totally in love with her."

"What?!"

"Yeah..."

"Well, there could be something in it," admitted Shades, "But I must say, if it's true I feel a bit sorry for Joseph."

"... But why?"

"Because unrequited love is a hard thing."

"Oh," laughed up Charlotte. "But who talks about unrequited loved? As I saw her, it's not one-side at all. Their eyes were literally shining when they looked at each other."

"Okay, but they still have no chance. I mean she is married and her husband is none other than the king. It's... it's just impossible."

"Well..." sighed Charlotte, "I think it's only up to them."

To be continued...


	7. Chapter 7

"Did you have fun?" asked Joseph as they entered to her room upstairs.

"Yeah, it was such a good time... I mean having breakfast in a bigger company is much better than eating alone."

"Of course, sorry. It was a stupid question."

"No, I really meant that." she smiled, sitting down to her bed. "It was something I've been missing for a long time as it seems."

"Then I think we should repeat it in the future. Right?"

"Yes, definitely." agreed Clarisse. "Sometimes eating upstairs just the two of us, and sometimes downstairs with them. I really love this idea... but just if you have time of course."

"You know I'll always have time for you, Clarisse." he added softly, sitting down next to her.

"I mean if you're in charge, you know."

"Oh, I'll manage it. Don't worry about that... but you okay?" he asked seeing the painful look on her face.

"Yeah, just maybe these so many kinds of foods was a bit too much for me after eating so little nowadays."

"Oh, I see." nodded Joseph. "Do you wanna be alone a little and relax or maybe we should take a walk outside?"

"I think a walk would be fine. I just change my shoes and grab a sweater then we can go," she smiled, but stopped from his expression, "Or it's warm outside?"

"No, it's a bit chilly. Just..."

"Come on."

"Oh, it's nothing..." smiled Joseph, "... Okay. I've planned that I'll offer you my jacket outside. You know... on that romantic kind of way, but if you do not want it..." he shrugged his shoulders playfully, but could not finish it, because Clarisse leant over to kiss him.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," she whispered, "So sweater is canceled..."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A few minutes later they were already outside...

"So where are we going?" she asked happily, turning to face with him.

"Well, after the lodge there's a little path through the woods with lots of flowers and everything." winked Joseph, "I think that would be a beautiful trip at this time of the day."

"What a lovely idea... Actually, I didn't know there's a wood here, I was just in the house or at the seaside all the time."

"Me neither, but after my first few days I had to learn the map of the whole estate about security reasons, so I often used this road for my morning run."

"It's beautiful indeed." she said amazed then added playfully, "But a bit cold actually. It seems I forgot to bring my sweater with me..."

"Oh, what a shame. But fortunately I can offer you my jacket if you want." said Joseph kindly, continuing their little play. "Is it better now?" he asked, gently covering her back with it.

"Yes much better, thank you." she said with shining eyes, "You're such a gentleman Joseph, you know that?"

"I'm really just trying," he teased her, then added softly, "But I could do anything for you..." and despite they were playing, she knew he was serious.

"Could you tell me something?"

"Yes, of course. Anything."

"What do you like about this... you know, offering-your-jacket thing so much?" she asked in a sweet way.

"Uhm... I think it's a chivalrous gesture, taking care of a lady's well-being and..."

"And?" she smiled questioningly.

"And I love this my-girl feeling in it."

"My-girl feeling?"

"Yeah. It's a sign for the outside world, that she's with me. She is my girl, you know..."

"Oh, so I'm your girl now?" she teased him, but his face looked a bit sad. "What's the matter?"

"...nothing," he shook his head with a sad smile.

"Joseph..." she stopped them.

"I just...

"..."

"...I just wish you would be mine Clarisse," he whispered, while his gaze broke her heart.

"Joseph... look at me, please." she asked softly. "I perfectly know our circumstances, but there's only one thing I'm sure about... that I belong to you," she added the last bit and he could not say a word, just hugged her tightly.

To be continued...


	8. Chapter 8

Holding her so close again was something he could do forever. The smell of her hair, and the touch of that soft skin on her neck completely drove him crazy, so he could not resist to start giving her small butterfly kisses, tasting her, feeling her more and more with each kiss, while hearing her little moans of pleasure made him sure that he's on the right way...

"Do you wanna continue this walk?" asked Joseph with a mischievous smile while pulled away a little.

"Uhm... yeah, I think so." she answered seriously, then added with a smile, "...but just until the lodge."

"You're really bad, you know that? You got me for a second."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." she said with false regret, "But do you want to continue this talk or we can go finally?" asked Clarisse playfully and a second later they were already running hand in hand.

As they nearly fell into the house, Joseph quickly closed the front door with one determined movement, then eagerly pinned her against the wall and they started kissing passionately. They've yearned for each other's closeness more than anything in the world, especially since last afternoon when they had to stop what they'd started, but now fortunately no-one interrupted them... Clarisse saw heaven in the hallway for the first time, then in the living room for the second and third time. They couldn't get enough of each other... it was like drinking fresh cold water after knocking around in the desert for days..."It felt so good" she whispered lovingly as they cuddled up in happy tiredness.

"You know in normal circumstances," Joseph started to tease her. "I would like to hear a bit more than that..."

"Oh really?" she chuckled and turned around, "What exactly?"

"I don't know," continued Joseph. "Maybe... fantastic, phenomenal etc, but hearing your response to every little movement of mine was more than convincing." he chuckled when she slapped him with a pillow, then he just pulled her close and waited until she finally looked right into his eyes, "...I've never been so happy in my life Clarisse," he whispered and her sweet kiss as an answer led them to their dreamworld again...

A few minutes later a loud ringing sound brought them back to reality.

"Hallo?" asked Clarisse, picking up the receiver.

"I'm so sorry to interrupting you Ma'am, but your husband was looking for you." said Charlotte with one breath,

"Is he here?" she sat up immediately,

"No. Just tried to call you about that party tonight."

"Oh my God, I completely forgot about it." she whispered to herself.

"You have to leave soon if you want to arrive back in time Ma'am."

"Yes... yes, indeed." agreed Clarisse, looking at the clock. "Thank you Charlotte."

The next hour was extremely busy, they had to get dressed and clean up that mess in the lodge, not to mention to pack for going back to the palace.

"We're ready to go if everything is okay." said Shades and started the car, "Ma'am?..."

"You okay, Ma'am?" asked Joseph, looking at the rearview mirror, searching eye contact with Clarisse.

"Uhm... yes, yes of course. Just go." she nodded, but it was not convincing at all. Her mind was already far away, sinking back to reality where they won't have time for each other.

The whole journey passed in silence, she was looking out of the window, thinking on everything, but mostly her impossible future with Joseph...

The party was as usual, she not really found her place so after a few complimentary circles she ran away and hid in the end of the estate looking for a little peace from the guests...

"I've saved a piece for you..." smiled Joseph as he found her, offering a fancy looking slice of cake.

"Thank you..." she accepted the plate with a grateful smile, "It really looks nice."

"You know, that was the only eatable thing on the buffet table so I had to fight for it with a bunch of people. It wasn't an easy thing..."

"I can imagine," she chuckled, finally feeling a bit better.

"I'm glad you're smiling... You okay? After that call, you were so enchanted."

"Yes..." sighed Clarisse, "It was too abrupt. I mean everything happened so fast, I just started to enjoy my life a little then I had to go back to... to this." she showed around theatrically.

"I know... but please don't worry about that," he tried to cheer her up, "I'm here for you and I will always be," he cupped her face in both hands, looking at her lovingly. Her answer was only a nod as he pulled her close... and that was the only place where she felt she has a future with him...

To be continued...


	9. Chapter 9

"Do you feel any better?" asked Joseph fondly, losing his hug on her.

"Yes, much better thank you." she nodded with a grateful smile then raised the plate in her hand, "And now, I think it's finally time to try this beautiful cake out, what do you think?"

"I'm totally agree..."

"Hmm, it smells pretty good," she grinned and slowly took a bite. "Gosh, it's fantastic. You want a bite?" she asked and offered a piece to him.

"Uh-huh... oh, it's really good indeed."

"Then here's another bite...come on."

"No thanks, you need calories more than me." he refused with a smile, stroking her back, "Just eat it."

"Sure?"

"Yes, sure."

"Right," she nodded lovingly, because she found his gesture incredibly sweet. "But then I have an idea..."

"Just say it. I'm all ears," he admired her as she was eating the cake with pleasure.

"The plan is... you go back to the buffet table and pack as many cakes as you can to a bigger plate, while I'll stay here hiding from those politicians wives, then we sneak up together to my suite... okay?"

"Of course, it's okay. I'm totally in," chuckled Joseph. "So just leave it on me."

A few minutes later they were already walking towards her suite in an uplifted mood, but as they nearly reached her door, it suddenly sprung open by the King...

"Oh, Clarisse there you are. I've been looking for you everywhere."

"I was just in the garden with the guests. I... I arrived back in time for the party."

"I know I just didn't find you. Oh, you already brought up some cakes and two forks, what a lovely idea. Just put it down inside, I'll go after you in a minute..."

"Um... okay." she answered hesitantly, "Then thank you Joseph for... for escorting me upstairs," she didn't know what to say, so she went inside.

"Joseph, I have a serious job for you..." started the King, grabbing Joseph's shoulder.

"Of course Sir," he nodded, trying to concentrate, but his mind was somewhere else.

"I want you to stay here and keep everybody away, no matter what the problem is, right? I mean I don't even care if world war third broke out, you won't let anybody inside, got it?" Joseph just nodded. "I wouldn't ask for it, if it wasn't so important for me... I'm planning a long romantic night with my wife, if you know what I mean." winked the King and slapped him on the back, then banged the door in front of him...

Joseph got a smaller kind of shock. He just came up to finally spend a little private time with Clarisse, and now her husband steals her and wants to... he was not able to even think on it. What if he will convince her and she spends the night with him?! After all he is a great politician... He was just thinking on that, still standing at the door, when another loud noise woke him up from his own world, someone threw a porcelain against the door. Actually it was so loud that he jumped away, and a second later the door sprung open and the King ran out. As he quickly closed the door again, another thing was thrown against the door.

"What happened?" asked Joseph astonished,

"It seems it wasn't such a good idea as I thought, so I'm going back to my office..." he said with one breath, then added, "Oh, and don't worry about her, she will calm down soon," and with that he disappeared on the corridor...

As Joseph remained alone, he softly knocked on her door and stepped in, but in that exact moment another porcelain vase was flying towards the door. He barely could jump aside,

"It's just me, Clarisse... just me!"

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." she murmured and rushed to him worriedly, "You okay?"

"Yes, of course." he tried to relax her, "And you? What happened?"

"...Look at that," she pointed at the dinner table with shaking hands, what was beautifully set up with candles and a big bouquet of red roses, "And this..." she turned around, and he peeked into the bedroom, where the bed was covered with rose petals."See?... It's disgusting!" she hissed and before Joseph would answered he quickly took a mental note that she hates these kind of romantic gestures.

"He was a bit self-confident with this decoration that's sure..." he tried,

"He doesn't care for me for weeks," she started vehemently, "Didn't ask me if I was okay or not and now he thinks with a dinner and those bloody roses I will sleep with him?!... I hate roses!" she couldn't hold herself back.

"... what's wrong with roses?" he asked a bit puzzled.

"What's wrong with them?! That he knows nothing about me. After all these years he doesn't know that I don't like roses..."

"..."

"Because it's such a cliche... Buying a rose is just an empty gesture. But taking the effort and giving something what the other really likes that's a total different thing. So these roses symbolize that he doesn't care for me... doesn't care for me when I'm sick or when I feel so desperately alone and not even when he wants to sleep with me..." her disappointed expression broke his heart. She suffered more in this marriage than he ever thought.

"...I will never bring you roses I promise," he said softly as he stepped closer, trying to comfort her "I'll bring you tulips..." he continued, "And in that special time of the year not other than just cherry blossoms. These are your favorites, right?" she could not say a word for a few moments, just stared at him...

"How... how do you know?"

"It's simple. You mentioned it previously..." she just looked at him on a dreamy way, feeling justified that her heart made the right decision... she really belonged to him. "You okay?" he asked, but her dreamy look was very promising.

"Yes... and I love you Joseph," she whispered, finally admitting it and welcoming his kiss with all of her being.

To be continued...


	10. Chapter 10

"Say it again..." whispered Joseph happily, still holding her face.

"I love you," she could not hide her smile.

"Again..."

"Joseph..." she chuckled.

"Just so good to hear it."

"Then... I think we should finish what we've planned."

"I'm totally in," he murmured trying to kiss her again but she pointed to the table's direction with a wide smile.

"I've thought about dinner."

"Oh," he laughed up. "Dinner... yes, of course. Then come on..." he grabbed her hand.

"Hey, but what about the cakes?"

"It'll better than that I promise," he winked and they sneaked out to the corridor.

"Where are we going?"

"Just trust me," he whispered and they ran through under a camera. A few meters away, they reached the staircase. "Come, we're already close."

"Oh my, what is it? A secret kitchen?" she asked surprised entering to a small room on the ground floor.

"Yes, it's a kind of hiding place for the staff."

"I didn't know about this place," she was amazed, looking around in the well-equipped kitchen, while Joseph opened the fridge.

"You know the chef is too strict about any kind of prepared food, so this is where the staff keeps a few things."

"..."

"As you can see the deep freezer is just for ice creams."

"I can't believe it..." she was amazed, "Salted caramel, mojito flavor and raspberry cheesecake?"

"Yes, so chose anything you like," smiled Joseph, really enjoying the situation.

"Um, I think... that salted caramel sounds nice."

"Okay, and pistachio for me." he smiled and took them out. "And now until they warm up a bit, I'll make you an omelette with everything, okay?"

"Of course, but it will be a grilled club sandwich and I will make it, so just sit down please." she smiled confidently.

"Are you sure?"

"About what? That I can make it?" smiled Clarisse. "If you want to know this is my speciality. I used to make this when..." her smile suddenly faded.

"When?"

"It's not important," she shook her head sadly and took out a few things from the fridge, but when she closed the door, he was still looking at her questioningly. "Well... in the past I waited a lot for my husband at the dinner table, sometimes for two or three hours... but he never arrived on time so dinner was ruined, then I just made a sandwich for myself after he came home and headed straight to his office with a 'sorry'. That's all."

"I'm so sorry," he stepped closer and kissed her shoulder.

"Never mind, it was long ago."

"Maybe... this is the reason behind your eating habits."

"I've never thought about that, but you're probably right."

"Can I help you with anything?" he was so sweet.

"Just one thing... eat it in the end," she chuckled.

"I can surely promise that," he nodded lovingly, pulling her into his comforting embrace.

"It's too good to be here," sighed Clarisse, breathing in his scent then pulled away a little. "Do you want dijon mustard?"

"What?" he smiled puzzled.

"To your sandwich?"

"Oh, I leave that on you..."

"Okay, then we should drink something until I'll be ready. Is anything beyond wine in the fridge?"

"Yes, I saw iced tea I think."

"That will be perfect." she smiled and turned back to prepare their dinner. As she worked on the counter he just admired her, her movements were professional and also contained an incredible coziness.

As they ate, they chatted about everything. It was like and average night in their imaginary home...

"This was simply fantastic... and not because I wanna say something nice, you really created something gorgeous."

"Thank you. I had enough time to practice," she laughed up.

"Then what would you say to those two lonely ice creams on the counter?"

"I can't wait to try them out," smiled Clarisse and looked puzzled as he grabbed two spoons and opened the back door, "Are we going somewhere?"

"Yes, to the back yard." he winked and pulled her with him.

"There's a yard in here?" she hadn't noticed the back door until now. "Wow! It's enchanting."

"Yes, it's the real hiding place, not the kitchen."

As they settled comfortably on the stairs, she was still amazed. The little back yard was totally separated from the main garden and the trees were decorated with colorful lanterns.

"I think I'm in love with this place."

"Hey, I've thought you are in love with ME." he teased her, opening her ice cream box and gave it to her.

"You WERE until now... but sorry now you're just the second one," she teased him back.

"Okay, then it seems you just lost your chance to taste pistachio. What a shame..."

"Oh, don't worry about that." she laughed up, "I have a trick to taste it."

"Really?" he chuckled and held the box away. "So?..."

"Just watch me..." she smiled, while leant over and kissed him fully on the lips. "Hmm, it reminds me of something..." she pretended she was deep in thought, "But I think I need a bit more time to decide," she smiled mischievously and kissed him again...

"This is what I want to do for the rest of my life," added Joseph lovingly as she broke the kiss.

"Yes, me too..." she whispered, "But it seems quite impossible."

"You know, I've already thought about this... and I think I have an idea."

To be continued...


	11. Chapter 11

"Really?" she asked on a hopeful voice, putting down her ice cream.

"Uh-huh. I have a friend here, Philip..."

"..."

"You know, the royal psychologist."

"Oh, yes. I think I've already met him."

"He is a good childhood friend of mine. We came from the same town, where he opened a private sanatorium a few years ago. It's some kind of a... you know, relaxing place for the rich and bored. So I think he could convince your husband that you need a little 'change of scene' and you should spend a few weeks there officially, while you would be at my father's house with me. It would be a little holiday, until I figure out something... so what do you say?"

"Uhm, it's a lovely idea..." she smiled wistfully.

"But?"

"But I don't really think Rupert would let me to go there for weeks. You know he needs me in a lot of things and he could be so stubborn."

"That's okay, but your health is a bit more important than work and he also has to understand that."

"I know, but he won't care that's sure."

"Just let me try it, okay?" he asked on a hopeful voice and she could not say 'no'.

"Of course... you get a free hand."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A few days later in the King's office...

"You're joking..." Rupert nearly laughed up. "Why the hell would you go to a sanatorium?"

"How you mean why?" she asked with disbelief as she sat down.

"And anyway, what does he doing here?" he pointed to Joseph.

"I have to go somewhere after this, but don't change the subject. You perfectly know that I'm not okay for months now."

"That's bullshit! What would be wrong with you?! You have everything. You don't have to work, you don't have to raise a child, you're just sleeping all the time. And don't come up with your eating habits... that's not a disease. You could eat, if you would want..."

"Excuse me Sir," Joseph cut in, "But it's a serious problem, she barely eat anything for months now and... "

"Who asked you?"

"I just see her daily habits and I must say..."

"Would you please shut up?! It's a private conversation with my wife, okay?" the King started to be angry.

"I have to admit," Clarisse quickly continued, "That it seems I need professional help..."

"Right," nodded the King, "If you feel you... you need medical help, I'll call the finest doctors and they can treat you HERE. But you do not need a sanatorium for that."

"But that's the point in this whole thing. I need a little fresh air, a place what is not... here."

"What's wrong with this place, hm? You have everything here."

"Of course I have everything here, but I'm depressed! Don't you understand that?"

"Oh come on! Depression? It's just a fancy word for laziness. You're just sleeping all the time when you do not have a program."

"..."

"You should pull yourself together finally and... you should help ME."

"What?!"

"This is a serious job Clarisse, you have to understand that I'm responsible for a lot of people... and you too. That's one thing you should keep in mind instead of these silly excuses."

"What are you talking about?! I've organized everything here. I've arranged your parties, your business trips, actually your whole life since we're together... or you've completely forgotten this?"

"She works a lot, even if you don't realize it..." added Joseph vehemently, while the King started to lose control.

"Joseph, could you wait for me outside?" she asked quickly, before Rupert would fire him. "...Please?"

"Yes, Ma'am..." he answered hesitantly, "Of course."

"Thank you."

OOOOOOOOOO

As Joseph closed the door behind himself, he needed a few minutes to calm down. He would rather punch the King on his face... his mocking words and his style was simply irritating, but he perfectly knew if he would hit him, he would be fired immediately... and then he would never be able to be around her again.

"We can go now," she said with poker face as she came out and they headed to the garden. As they reached a hidden spot, he gently stopped her, but she didn't say a word.

"What happened inside?" he asked on an anxious voice, while she just looked away.

"..."

"Clarisse? Answer me, please. I can see that something is wrong."

"No... I was just thinking," she said calmly and finally turned to face with him.

"Thinking on what?"

"Thinking on..." she took a deep sigh, "...what if he's right?"

"WHAT?!"

To be continued...


	12. Chapter 12

"How can you even think about he's right?"

"I don't know..." she seemed so lost, "Just... he said I'm totally changed recently, so it's not surprising if he is not satisfied with me."

"Can you hear yourself?!"

"Why?"

"He totally washed your brain out. You are in a bad period and he is your husband Clarisse... he should care about you, take care of you... he should love you."

"I know..." she whispered, looking down, "...but we were fine together at the beginning."

"When you did everything as he wanted?"

"Uh-huh."

"That's not love Clarisse..." he said softly and her answer was only a nod. "Anyway how could you marry someone like him?!"

"..."

"I'm sorry."

"No, after all it's a rational question." she sighed bitterly. "Actually... it did seem like a good idea at the time."

"How you mean it?"

"Well, my father was a very good man," started Clarisse her story. "He had a shipyard and that was his everything, but he was not a businessman, he was rather... an artist you know."

"So that's why you love sailing so much."

"Yes," she finally smiled a bit. "So my father was on the verge of bankruptcy and I knew he would not survive it if he would lose everything. In those days Rupert had been courting me for quite a long time, he was determined and ambitious what was something I really liked in him, but I was not in love. So when he heard about our problem, he offered me to save my father's business..."

"If you will marry him?"

"No, it was not necessary. I was so grateful that I said yes without any force, although my father discouraged this marriage. I thought Rupert is the most generous and selfless man in the world, so I fell in love with him.

"And your mother? What did she say to it?"

"She was happy about my choice, because he wanted a rich husband for me. I mean our family were rich also, but it was nothing compared to Rupert's."

"I see, so you married him."

"Yes, but at the beginning, everything was fine. I was so in love with him that I did anything he wanted... and he was a good husband."

"Until you did everything."

"Yes, exactly... but after the first problems he choose work instead of me. If I could solve a problem, that was okay, but if I could not, he just ignored me."

"I'm sorry Clarisse, really..."

"I know," she leaned back against him as he was stroking her arms. "It seems I will never be good enough."

"Don't listen to him," he kissed her neck lovingly. "Ever... and if you'll still think you're not enough or any kind of nonsense like that, I'll tell you for hours why you're so special."

"Thank you," her smile was grateful as she turned to face with him, "But I think there will be no need for that, because when I see how you're looking at me... all my doubts are gone," his kiss as an answer, was sweet and relaxing as always. Her favorite thing in the world.

"And I won't give up on our plan Clarisse, I promise."

"...I really hope so." she smiled, and they headed back to the Palace. They nearly reached the main entrance when her assistant stopped them.

"Excuse me, Ma'am."

"Charlotte, is everything okay?" she asked kindly.

"Yes, of course. I've just finished with your monthly schedule."

"With what?"

"Your husband asked me to make a schedule about your programs. You know parties, openings, official visits etc..."

"Oh..."

"So here's the first draft," she gave it to her.

"Uhm... gosh, only Fridays are free?"

"Well, not really." she felt a bit embarrassed. "Friday is a... some kind of a 'catch-up day'."

"A catch-up day?"

"Yes. You know, you can't do all the paperwork during the week, so if anything is left out, you can do it on Friday."

"That sounds great," she said weakly.

"That's awfully lot of work for a month." Joseph leant closer, looking at the paper. "Actually there isn't a complete day off."

"I'm so sorry," answered Charlotte. "But His Majesty selected all of the programs personally. He said..." she suddenly stopped, but it was too late.

"Said what?" asked Joseph as an instant.

"I don't really think..."

"Come on."

"He said she is so lazy nowadays that a little work would be fine for her," she murmured.

"Joseph..." Clarisse stopped him with a quick movement, because he immediately headed towards the King's office. "Please, don't do anything!"

"Let me go Clarisse..."

"No!"

"But, he is really going too far and someone has to stop him."

"I agree with you, really..." she looked so desperate. "But I don't want my husband fire you, okay?"

"Yes...of course," he sighed and calmed down a little. "But this schedule is CRAZY! You can't work non-stop."

"I know, but I'll manage it... somehow."

To be continued...


	13. Chapter 13

"Oh Charlotte, finally... I can't find her. Do you have any ideas about where she is?" asked Joseph, stopping her on the corridor.

"Yeah, I think she is still in her office."

"No way, it's almost ten o'clock..."

"I know, but maybe she just wants to finish with paperwork. This week was a bit hectic, you know."

"Not just a bit," added Joseph coldly. "She's totally exhausted."

"I'm really trying my best Joseph, believe me."

"I know, sorry... but if you could cancel a few programs that would be really fine."

"How?" she lowered her voice. "You know the King watches everything eagerly."

"Why don't you just put something to next week, then you cancel it later."

"I don't know... but I will try to figure out something I promise."

"Thanks Charlotte," he smiled. "And now, I think it's better if I check on her."

"Good idea. I'm coming with you..." she agreed, because she was a bit worried also. As they reached her office, Joseph knocked on her door, but there was no answer, so he just knocked again then opened it.

"Gosh..." he sighed looking at Clarisse, who was sleeping peacefully with her head on the desk.

"Poor thing."

"See? That's what I was talking about. She is awfully tired, because this schedule is a torture for her."

"Hey, what are you doing?" asked Charlotte surprised.

"I'm taking her upstairs, she can't remain here all night." said Joseph and gently lifted her up. "Could you open the doors for me?"

"Yes, of course. Just come."

As they reached her bed upstairs Joseph carefully put her down, trying to move her into a comfortable position.

"Could you take off her shoes?" he whispered, while Charlotte just nodded and did as he asked.

"And there's a blanket on the shelf."

"Oh great," he agreed. "I don't want to wake her up with pulling this out... Okay," he looked around satisfied, "I think she will be fine now."

"Yes, I'm sure of that." she whispered, trying to hide her smile about catching Joseph's tender look as he was watching the Queen." She will sleep until morning."

As he slowly closed the door behind them, he stopped Charlotte to discuss another thing. "Thanks for your help really, but I would like to ask something more."

"Of course, what is it?"

"As I see, she has a lot of paperwork, too many things to sign."

"I know, but I've already selected the documents, so she gets only what she really has to sign."

"That's very thoughtful, but a bit more help would be fine."

"How you mean it?"

"Well..." he tried to say it softly, "Maybe you should sign a few things instead of her."

"Joseph..."

"Just those things she would sign also, and with her permission of course."

"...right." she nodded finally, "But just because I cannot see her suffering."

"Thanks Charlotte, you're an angel."

"I know, believe me." she rolled her eyes with a smile.

OOOOOOOO

Next morning Clarisse was still sleeping when Joseph sat down to her bed and tried to gently wake her up by stoking her arm,

"Good morning my dear..." he whispered with a smile.

"..."

"Hey, you should wake up soon."

"What time is it?" she murmured with eyes closed.

"It's quarter to ten."

"What?!" her yes shut open and tried to sat up, but Joseph relaxed her.

"Don't worry. Your first visit is cancelled, so you have at least an hour to get ready."

"Gosh, I'm so relieved. Anyway how could I get in here?" she looked around. "My last memory is I'm in my office and try to relax for a few minutes."

"I took you upstairs, because you fell asleep at your desk," he said lovingly, but she could feel the worry in his voice.

"Oh thank you," she smiled guiltily. "I was just a bit sleepy, you know."

"You're totally exhausted Clarisse, that's not just normal tiredness."

"I'm okay now, don't worry. See?... I'm fresh and relaxed," she tried to be convincing, but getting out of the bed was not that easy as she imagined. "This long sleep was simply wonderful, really."

"I'm glad to hear that." he added unsure, "But where are you going? Breakfast is waiting for you outside on your balcony."

"That's so sweet, thank you," she gave him a quick kiss, "I just take a quick shower then I'll eat everything, I promise." and with that she quickly disappeared in the bathroom...

Joseph was sure she just wants to hide her tiredness... he was just thinking on that when he nearly bumped into the King,

"Where is my wife?" he asked vehemently as he stepped into the suite.

"In the bathroom... she just take a shower I think." tried Joseph, but it not really helped.

"Now?! It's almost ten o'clock."

"That opening will start only at twelve o' clock, she is totally in time."

"Clarisse!" He yelled, "Hurry a bit, I wanna talk to you."

"She can't hear it from the water..."

"She would have to wake up much sooner. It's unacceptable that she cancelled her first meeting. It's not a lunch with her friends what she can cancel whenever she wants."

"I cancelled it." said Joseph firmly.

"What?!"

"She is exhausted so she needed more sleep, that's all."

"Who the hell are you?!" he stepped closer menacingly, "You're just a bodyguard here."

"That's the point! I can see how tired she is for days now and at the end of the day she barely could stand on her feet."

"Oh come on, why would she be so tired?! It's just a little work."

"Really? She fell asleep at her desk because she was so exhausted!"

"You're like a real husband, aren't you?"

"Someone has to be..."

"I think you are not clear about your job description. She is MY wife, I know how to handle her, okay? She needs a strong hand to know where her limits are..." said the King, but a moment later he was on the floor, because Joseph punched him in the face...

OOOOOOOO

As Clarisse came out of the bathroom, she felt much better than before. After she dressed up comfortably, she just sat out to her balcony, where the table was beautifully set up with everything and what is more, a little red tulip was in the vase on her breakfast tray what made her smile instinctively, thinking on how happy she is about having Joseph in her life.

First she just poured a glass of orange juice, then leaned back slowly with eyes closed, enjoying the morning sun on her face for a few minutes, experiencing a little harmony in her life... before she ate breakfast and went back inside just when her assistant has arrived,

"Oh, Charlotte. I'm just grabbing my purse and we can go now..." she hastened to her wardrobe "Joseph is waiting downstairs at the limo, isn't he?" she asked then turned to her, because there was no answer. "Charlotte? What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she tried weakly.

"It's about Joseph?"

"..." she just nodded.

"Come on, tell me what happened!"

"He had a fight with His Majesty..."

To be continued...


	14. Chapter 14

"A fight?! Oh my God... is Joseph okay? Where is he?" Clarisse was in panic,

"Please try to calm down Ma'am, he is quite all right. I think just his hand injured a bit." she immediately saw the relief on Clarisse's face. "And your..."

"But what happened?"

"I don't know exactly... when I arrived His Majesty was already on the floor, while Joseph held her hand with a painful look on his face, so I think he simply knocked him out."

"I knew this will going to happen... gosh I knew it," Clarisse just paced up and down nervously.

"It was expected if I may say so."

"Yes, I think so... So where is he now?"

"Joseph is in the first aid room and your husband..." but she could not finish it, because Clarisse hastened away...

She tried to keep her calmness and not tore the door up as she entered to the medical room,

"Good Morning Ma'am." turned the doctor around with a complaisant smile.

"I've just heard what happened... I hope it's not serious," she nervously stroked her arm, looking at Joseph who was sitting on the top of the examination table.

"No, please don't worry. His hand is not broken, it's just a little bruise... but a bit painful that's true."

"I see," she nodded. "Uhm... would you mind if I would ask you to leave us alone for a few minutes?"

"No, of course not. Anyway, I've just wanted to check on your husband."

"Oh, yes. How is he?" she asked quickly, realizing that she completely forgot about him.

"A few blue and black marks on his right side, but he will surely survive it." smiled the doctor and it was obvious that the staff was not exactly a big fan of the King.

As the doctor finally went out and they remained alone, Clarisse stepped closer to Joseph and gently touched his bandaged hand.

"...does it hurt?" she asked softly.

"Just a little bit," he tried, but hissed up as she stroked it.

"Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry Clarisse. I know I should have stayed in peace, but he was talking about you as usual and I could not stand it. "

"Oh Joseph..." she just took a deep sigh and rested her hand on his shoulders... They just looked at each other for a few moments. "I don't know, that I wanna cry because everything is over... or I just wanna kiss you because you protected me no matter what."

"I think I chose the second one." he tried to joke, but Clarisse just snuggled up to him with eyes closed, while her tears started to ran down freely.

"I don't want to lose you Joseph," she held him so tight as if her life would depend on it.

"You won't Clarisse... you won't," he said softly and stroked her back to comfort her.

"He will fire you that's sure," she pulled away a little. "... everything is over, don't you understand it?!"

"I don't think so. If he would wanted to fire me, I would have been fired already."

"That's not so simple, you don't know him."

"And what if he fire me? We can still... Clarisse!" he cried after her, because she suddenly moved to the door's direction. "Where are you going?"

"I have to talk with him..." she whipped down her tears.

"Then I'm coming with you." he jumped down form the table, but Clarisse stopped him at the door.

"Are you crazy?! It would be just oil to the fire."

"I don't care, you cannot go there alone."

"Joseph," she put on her serious face. "You have to stay here... promise me."

"..."

"Joseph!"

"Right." he sighed with resignation, "But I don't agree with it."

As she was walking towards her husband's office, her heart was beating in her throat and she felt she was so nervous that she could faint in any minute.

"I've just heard what happened..." she said with one breath as she nearly fall into the office. "You okay?"

"Yes. Yes, of course." looked up the King, "Just a few scratches, but fortunately I'm in good condition, so nothing serious."

"I'm glad to hear that." she added with a forced smile then a few moments passed until she finally dared to ask what she really wanted to know, "... so what happens now?"

"With you little lap-dog?"

"Rupert, please..."

"Well, I still haven't decided it yet. First I simply wanted to kill him, but..."

"Oh my God! Please ..." he found the panic on her face quite funny.

"But we're not in the Middle Ages, right? So it seems I have not much choice than fire him... or not?" he calculated the pause."It's only up to you."

"Up to me?" she was surprised. "How you mean it?"

"It will be your decision Clarisse..." she still looked strange, "So the main point is... do you want me to fire him or not?"

"Of course I don't want you to fire him. It's not a question."

"Fine... and why?"

"Hm?"

"I asked you... WHY?"

"Because..." she had to figure out something very quickly. "It wasn't his fault, he just wanted to protect me, so..."

"Really? How do you know what happened?" he asked as an instant. "Did you run straight to him as soon as you heard the news?"

"No..." her face started burning, "I just bumped into him on the corridor on my way here, that's all."

"Okay... So you says you want him to stay because it was not his fault, right?"

"Well, yes." she knew it's a trap, but had to say something.

"Actually, you're right about it wasn't his fault in a way. He can't help it... because he is in love with you."

"What?!"

"You're so naive Clarisse. Do you really think a man would risk his life for any woman?"

"I... I've never thought he would be..."

"It was so obvious from the very beginning as he started to work here. The way as he looked at you, gosh..."

"Really? I've never noticed it."

"That's why I'm telling you now..."

"Wait..." she stopped him, "If he is really in love with me... you should be a bit jealous at least."

"Of course, but he is just a... how can I say it nicely? A penniless looser... I mean you would never chose a man like him, am I right?" she could not decide if her husband was serious about what he was saying or it's just a trick to catch her.

"Yes... yes, of course."

"So you still want him on your side or I can fire him finally? Hm?"

"... I want him to stay."

"Okay," he stood up and went around to the other side of the desk. "I accept your decision, but I have a condition..."

"I knew it," she whispered just to herself. "What condition?"

"Just a little thing, nothing extraordinary," he smiled, and she knew it will hurt. "So I won't fire Joseph... if you will move back to our bedroom."

"...what?" she whispered and felt she will faint.

"It's just a simple business transaction Clarisse. If you want to keep your lap-dog, you have to move back. So... what do you say?"

She took a deep sigh, closed her eyes for a moment then said "...okay."

To be continued...


	15. Chapter 15

As Clarisse stepped out to the corridor and closed the door behind herself, she stopped for a few moments to think... her heart was still beating rapidly and her stomach was aching, but she tried to focus on the only thing what really mattered... that Joseph can stay with her.

She didn't care about anything else, because she knew it well who gains time, gains life... so her breathing just returned to normal, when she realized that Joseph was standing right behind her.

"Gosh! You scared me to death!" she whispered nervously. "What are you doing here?! I've told you to stay at the medical room," she said and quickly pulled them behind a pillar.

"I know, but I wanted to be sure that I'm around if you would need help Clarisse."

"That's... sweet, thank you." she could not be angry with him.

"So what happened inside?"

"Oh... everything is okay." she regained her senses. "We discussed this whole thing and he won't fire you, so don't worry about that."

"But why?"

"How you mean why?"

"Why doesn't he fire me?... I mean what were you talking about?"

"Uhm, we were talking about so many things you know," she desperately tried to get out of this conversation.

"Please, say something at least."

"I can't really remember everything Joseph and I was awfully nervous, but I think it's not important," she tried to be nonchalant. "The point is that you can stay and... we are already late from that opening, true?"

"... yeah, I think so." he agreed unwillingly.

"Or you want to stay about your hand?" she asked while started to move towards the stairs.

"No, of course not. I'm coming with you."

"Right, then I go and get my purse and we can go..."

OOOOOOOOOO

The hour long drive passed quickly, because Joseph didn't have to drive, so he could just thinking all way long while he often looked back to Clarisse in the rearview mirror. When their eyes met, she just smiled with shining eyes, what was simply an instinctive reaction, because she was in love with him. From the outside it seemed she is just happy, because everything is okay, but it was more complex than that... and he felt it. Felt that something was wrong, not to mention her babbling on the corridor.

The opening was followed by a party where the King also appeared at the end and took over the host's role. At that time Clarisse was on her feet for at least seven hours so it was really time to let herself a little break.

"Finally," remarked Joseph with a sigh as they were walking towards to the main house.

"I must say you were really trying hard with those excuses."

"Yes, but you still stayed and chatted as nothing would have happened."

"Because I have duties," she stopped them.

"You have duties to yourself also, never forget that."

"Joseph..."

"You know we should go home."

"Yes, but I have to stay until it's over and please don't look at me that way."

"Right, but it's not such a great sin if you eat something, right?" he asked with one breath then realized that something was wrong, "Do you feel cold?"

"Yes, a little bit." she nodded and coughed.

"A little bit? You are shivering Clarisse. Let me give you..." he took off his jacket quickly and tried to cover her back, but she started to run. "Clarisse! What's the matter?" he cried and ran after her. Shades just came out from the house when Clarisse ran past him.

"What the hell happened?" he asked from Joseph and they both looked at the rest room's door where she disappeared.

"I don't know..."

"Is that crying?" whispered Shades as they both stepped closer to the door.

"No, it's puking."

"But she did not eat anything for hours."

"Yes, I know." nodded Joseph, "I'm going in," he said determined when Shades stopped him.

"Hey, you can't go in!"

"..." he looked questioningly.

"It's the Queen, it's a rest room...you need more?"

"I don't care!"

"Joseph..."

"Stay here and stop those who would want to come in, right?" and with that he was already inside.

"Clarisse, you okay?" he asked just when she flushed the toilet and staggered to the wash basin.

"Uh-huh..." she nodded and washed her face.

"Here's a towel, grab it..."

"Thank you," she took it and buried her face in it.

"So what's the matter Clarisse? Hm?..." he was just looking at her. "You have to tell me finally, you haven't eaten for a long time, so I know it's not about food."

"Everything is all right," she suddenly looked up at him. "It's just about the cough, okay?"

"Cough?"

"Yes, I started coughing then I had to puke. It's a normal reaction when I cannot stop it, that's all."

"I see," he sighed and could not decide she was telling the truth or not.

"So everything is okay, right?"

"Yes."

"...then could you give me a few moments please?" she asked weakly,

"Of course... I'll wait outside."

"Thank you."

As she remained alone she tried to calm down a bit. She just leant to the wash basin and looked herself in the mirror. She knew it was not about coughing, she was nervous, awfully nervous, but unable to tell him why...

As she pulled herself together a bit and stepped out, Joseph was already waiting for her with a steaming cup.

"You okay Ma'am?"

"Yes, thank you."

"This is ginger tea..." she gratefully accepted it. "It will do wonders."

"I have no doubts about that." she smiled and let him to cover her back with his jacket. "Thank you Joseph, really."

"I suggest you to relax a few minutes in the limo and drink your tea, I'll be back soon."

"Okay."

"Shades would you escort Her Majesty to the car?"

"Yes of course, this way please Ma'am."

As Clarisse made herself comfortable on the backseat and pushed the bottom of the separating wall, she started to drink her tea. It was hot and spicy and after a few sips she started to feel better and not just in her stomach but in her mind also. Joseph was really the most kind and caring man she has ever met and comparing him to her husband opened her eyes. She finally learnt what it means when a man really loves her and she was so grateful and happy about that. She was just thinking on this when the limo's door opened and Joseph sat next to her with a big bowl of sweet potato fries.

"Better now?"

"Yes, you were right."

"If you drank your tea, here's something to eat."

"Gosh, it's sweet potato?" she looked up a bit puzzled.

"Yes, just trust me."

"Okay," she smiled and already regretted the question. "The tea was wonderful really. How's your hand?"

"Don't change the subject."

"How's your hand?" she asked again not caring about his trying.

"It's fine. Less painful than this morning."

"I'm glad to hear that," she smiled and they lost themselves in each other's look for a moment.

"... but now taste those fries."

"Okay," she chuckled and picked up the first one, while wanted to tell him that she not really likes sweet potato, but as she started to eat it, her opinion immediately changed. "Oh my..."

"Is it good?"

"I've never ever eat anything like this. It's hot and crispy and sweet, it's... I simply love it."

"Finally something nutritious what you like." he smiled and stroked her arm lovingly. He just watched her eating in silence while she nestled against him comfortably.

"I could stay like this forever..." she said on a dreamy voice.

"Sitting in the back seat of a limo?" he teased her.

"You are incorrigible Joseph."

"I know... so what do you like here so much?"

"You." her answer was simple and honest. "Being so close to you is the only place where I feel secure in every sense of the word," she whispered as he gently kissed her head with a smile...

OOOOOOO

Arriving back to the Palace made her feel extremely nervous again, but this time there were no excuses, she knew she has to pull herself together no matter what...

As Joseph escorted her upstairs he suddenly stopped at the door, looking around surprised as a few people was packing the last pieces of Clarisse's personal things...

"What is going on here?" he asked uncomprehendingly, while she just took a deep breath and turned around.

"May I ask everybody to leave us alone please?"

"Of course, Ma'am." they replied at once and did as she asked.

"Thank you."

"..."

"Look Joseph," she sighed and barely dared to face with him, "There's something I've already wanted to tell you..."

To be continued...


	16. Chapter 16

"What is going on here Clarisse?" asked Joseph, keeping the eye contact. "Why are your belongings being taken away?"

"..."

"Clarisse?"

"I had no choice Joseph... please believe me," she was so desperate.

"What are you talking about?"

"Rupert cornered me, I..."

"Wait, I hope you do not wanna say that..."

"...I'm moving back to our bedroom, sorry." she said with one breath.

"WHAT?!"

"I didn't know how to tell you."

"I can't believe it..." he whispered and started to pace up and down. "So that's why you were so nervous today you puked, right?"

"You knew it?"

"...I only guessed," he said and she just looked down guiltily. "You should have told me."

"I know, but I was too nervous and there was really no other option."

"But we could have find out something since morning or..."

"Or?"

"Nothing."

"Joseph..."

"I just wanted to say that you should have said 'no', but... I know you would never have chosen that."

"You're right. That wasn't an option for me."

"Clarisse..." he stepped closer and grabbed her arm, "You can't move back, do you understand that?"

"Yes of course, but I have to do it."

"No," he shook his head.

"He can't fire you... I won't let that happen."

"So you rather have sex with him?"

"What are you talking about?" she was at a loss. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you agreed."

"That I will move back to our bedroom yes, but it doesn't mean I will have sex with him."

"Of course it means that!" he cried, "You can't be so naive Clarisse!"

"No! I agreed that I will move back and that's all!" her eyes were desperate.

"I'm sorry..." he sighed and stepped closer to comfort her. "I didn't want to upset you."

"No, I think you're right." she nodded, letting him to pull her closer. "But it doesn't change anything."

"How you mean that?" he loosened his hug on her.

"He is my husband after all..."

"..."

"I mean we have done it so many times before..."

"You can't be serious!" Joseph was puzzled. "Do you really wanna have sex with him?"

"If that's the price that you can stay... yes."

"Can you hear yourself?!" he was out of control. "You can't do that!"

"Yes I can..." she just nodded with glassy eyes, what made him crazy.

"No!" he grabbed her arm, "Look at me Clarisse! You won't do it, right?"

"..."

"Say it!" he said desperately when the King appeared in the room.

"What's the matter?... Storm in the Eden?" he laughed up as he stepped closer. "I hope it's nothing serious, because you two could be dangerous together... so come on my love I think we should go to bed, hm?"

"Yes, of course." she answered, still looking at Joseph.

"No!" he cried and held her hand stronger.

"Excuse me!" the King stepped closer firmly, "Would you be so kind to let my wife go?"

"No!" said Joseph determined.

"Joseph..." she desperately tried to prevent the catastrophe. "Let me go, please." but he did not listen to her, just continued the quarrel with the King.

"I won't let her to do something she doesn't want."

"Oh really? How do you know that she doesn't want it?" asked Rupert with a smile, enjoying the anger in Joseph's eyes.

"...You're a son of a bitch!" he hissed.

"Thank you." he smiled as nothing would have happened. "So sweetheart, what do YOU say?"

"..."

"Clarisse?"

"Don't listen to him, you don't have to say anything." said Joseph, trying to keep her attention. He could see how confused she was and felt her hand's trembling.

"We have an agreement Clarisse... or you really want me to fire him?"

"No..." she answered barely audibly, leaving Joseph with no other option,

"But she won't sleep with you..." he said determinedly, "Because I QUIT!"

To be continued...


	17. Chapter 17

"CLARISSE!" they cried at once as they saw her falling into a swoon, but Joseph fortunately could catch her before she would hit the floor.

"Get your hands off her!" said Joseph harshly to the King, as he quickly took her into his arms. "Or you want me to drop her?!"

"No, of course not..." he answered as a humming silence surrounded him. The King was not able to argue anymore, just stayed where he was and watched them... watched as Joseph gently laid her onto the bed and desperately asked for help as Charlotte has arrived. His movements were gentle and were saying more than a thousand words... as she regained her senses Joseph just stroked her face lovingly and seeing his wife crying and asking him not to leave was more overwhelming than he has ever thought... Seeing them really together was shocking and suddenly everything was clear... he knew he had lost her forever... so as the doctor arrived he just walked out in silence...

He was a jerk he knew it, but he loved his wife on his own way. He loved when she looked up at him, when she was so in love with him... but now, she already loved someone else... and it was worth nothing anymore.

"How is she?" asked Joseph from the doctor as he came out from her suite.

"Quite well under the circumstances. It was just an emotional reaction for... whatever happened, but this must be avoided in the future, that's sure."

"Of course, doctor."

"So it was just an interlude, but there's something else... something worrisome."

"I guess I know what you're talking about..."

"Really? I only hoped that someone in such a big place also realized it..." he took a deep sigh, "She is quite underfed, and it not only means that she is skinny. Being this thin is the fashion of time, but it's not healthy, especially not in her age... and what is more, her skin and nails also shows that she has serious problems inside."

"Actually she has eating disorders for quite a few months."

"Not surprising... and was there any therapy against it?"

"Uhm, not really. We just try to make sure she eats regularly."

"That's a good thing, but she needs more. I mean she needs mental help."

"The psychologist already examined her and suggested a change of scene."

"That could be really helpful and what happened?"

"Her husband didn't let her go..."

"I see," nodded the doctor. "I expected this, His Majesty was never really a... but that's not my business."

"So can I go in?"

"Yes, but please try to not upset her."

"Of course, I'll be very careful."

"Right... and now I'll go and talk with His Majesty."

"Thank you doctor."

OOOOOOOOO

"Joseph..." she whispered happily as she tried to sit up in her bed, but he gently stopped her.

"Just lay back dear, you really have to relax a bit."

"But I'm okay now. It was just a... a bad moment. "

"Look..."

"I know I frightened you and I'm sorry."

"No. This time it was really my fault Clarisse," he sighed. "But I had to stop this whole thing, because it was insane."

"...Otherwise, what was your plan?" she looked at him questioningly. "You says you quit then leave me here with him?"

"Gosh! Of course not," he smiled with disbelief. "You know when you quit there's a period of notice, what is 30 days..."

"Oh, yes of course. I totally forgot about that."

"So this way we can win a little time."

"Uh-huh..."

"What's the matter?" he asked softly.

"..."

"Don't you want to tell me?"

"I just... I'm sorry I'm causing you so much trouble."

"Oh my God..." whispered Joseph instinctively, because hearing these words was so painful for him. "Look at me Clarisse. You never... do you understand me? You never cause trouble for me. So get this out of your head, okay?"

"Yes..." she nodded with a whisper as he gently drew her into his arms. And she felt it again... felt that endless calm and love what she never felt before just in his arms. It was a warm and safe place, where everything seemed possible... so when she pulled away a little, she felt totally relaxed.

"Better?"

"Much better as always," she smiled.

"I'm glad to hear that... and I can stay with you for the night if you want."

"Of course I want it, but where is Rupert?"

"I don't know. Actually I didn't even notice he left your suite."

"Okay. I really hope he won't come back tonight, so we can both relax a bit..."

"That sounds nice," he smiled.

"Then make yourself comfortable... uhm," she looked around.

"This armchair will be perfect, don't worry." he sat down and kissed her hand lovingly. "And I'll hold your hand until you fall asleep, if it's okay."

"It's more than okay," she smiled and they just looked at each other for a few moments,

"... what happens now Joseph?"

"I don't know..." he sighed. "But I will be with you, that's sure."

"Fortunately that is the only thing what matters."

OOOOOOOOOOO

"Is she okay?" whispered Charlotte on the corridor as Joseph came out to the knocking.

"Yes, she just fell asleep."

"Poor thing, but what happened?"

"..."

"You know what happened, am I right?"

"Yes," he nodded, looking down.

"Then please tell me. I'm worrying... "

"Okay. That..." he didn't know how to name him.

"His Majesty," helped Jill.

"Yes, he blackmailed her by firing me if she doesn't sleep with him."

"No way..." she cried with disbelief, "Gosh, what a jerk!"

"Exactly, he totally destroyed her... she is underfed, depressed, continually thinks she is not good enough as a woman, a wife a..." but he couldn't continue, because the doctor appeared. "Doctor?"

"Sorry to interrupt you, but I have good news..."

To be continued...


	18. Chapter 18

"Are you serious?" asked Joseph from the doctor with disbelief.

"Yes."

"I mean you heard it right?"

"Of course... Look, I don't understand it either, but he let her go for a whole month, that's sure."

"Okay," he was deep in thought.

"I know it's strange from him and I also had doubts, but..."

"I guess it took a long time to convince him."

"No, not at all. He agreed quite easily."

"I see, then it must be a trick!" said Joseph immediately as realization hit him like a brick. "I can't believe that nothing is sacred to him."

"Well I don't think it would be a trick, because he was quite..."

"Quite what?"

"... Bereft of hope."

"Really?"

"Yes, he was down in the dumps."

"Maybe he is just a bit frightened," Charlotte cut in.

"How you mean that?" asked Joseph.

"You know he went too far and that's why his wife swooned, so now he regretted it."

"Yeah... that could be true."

"But the point is," continued the doctor. "That I can take her to that sanatorium tomorrow. So now, I think we should go to rest a bit, because this day was a bit too long for all of us."

"That's right, then see you tomorrow doctor."

"Good night," he nodded and left them alone.

"... So you want to tell her now?" she asked, turning to Joseph.

"No, I think just in the morning, because she barely could fall asleep after this whole thing."

"Oh I see, then you should wait indeed. Anyway I'm sure she will be very happy about the news."

"Me too... but now I think it's better if I go back to her, sorry."

"Of course, just go." she smiled, always amazed on his tenderness.

OOOOOO

"Are you awake?" whispered Joseph in the darkness as he caught noises.

"Yes, just heard talking from outside. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, the doctor came back with the news that your husband let you go to the sanatorium for a month."

"You're joking..."

"No, not at all."

"Oh my God!" she sat up. "It's... I just can't believe it," she felt so many things at the same time. "But you're not happy with it, right?"

"No, it's not about that," he sat down on her bed. "It's just strange... I mean until now he was totally against it and now he just suddenly let you go? It sounds like a trick to me."

"I know, but please don't bother with it Joseph," she said softly. "The point is we can go, and that's perfectly enough."

"Maybe you're right," he sighed.

"That reminds me, when can we go?"

"Uhm... the doctor will take you there tomorrow and I will go after you, if it's okay."

"Of course it is," she was so happy. "Gosh, I think I have to start packing a few things right now."

"In the middle of the night?... Okay, okay!" He held up his hands playfully, "As I see it's better if I won't tell you that you should sleep instead," he teased her.

"That's a wise decision indeed," she chuckled. "And I think maybe you should do the same."

"Yes, of course... then I'll come back after I finished."

"Perfect," she whispered happily as she gave him a quick kiss.

OOOOOOOO

After Joseph left her suite she started packing a few personal things, while she stopped from time to time thinking on what he said before... what if it's just a trick?

This thought somehow could not let her rest, so a few minutes later she was standing right before her husband's office,

"It's just me... can I come in?" she asked softly and her husband immediately felt her weakness... and knew not all was lost.

"Of course. How are you?"

"Much better thank you... Uhm, I didn't notice you left my suite."

"I've waited until the doctor arrived," he seemed so normal now. "I wouldn't have left you there alone... I mean without real help."

"That's good to hear, thanks."

"And I think that sanatorium is not that a bad idea as I thought before."

"..."

"That's why you're here, right?"

"Yes..."

"So it's true. You can go whenever you want, I'll not stand in your way." he said, but she just looked at him. "That's what you wanted to know, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then what's the matter?"

"I just... can't understand why you changed your mind, that's all."

"But it's simple, I saw too much..."

"Saw too much?"

"Yes, when I saw you with him," he sighed sadly. "I had to realize that the way I can love you will never be enough for you."

"... Oh my God," she was shocked. "So you love me?...Really?"

"Of course I do love you Clarisse." he said it so quickly, so natural that she barely could breathe. "That was never a question for me."

"Then why were you so..."

"Just say it," he braved her softly.

"... so heartless with me?"

"Because I just wanted to help."

"..."

"Look, you were so depressed... I saw how much you can't find your place, so I thought work therapy would be effective against it. You know, something what keeps your mind busy, so you won't have too much time to think."

"Gosh, I had never thought of that..." she said guiltily, then suddenly something else came to her mind. "And... and what about this bedroom thing?"

"That was just another bad decision it seems," he sighed and stepped closer. "I'm just trying to repair our marriage somehow. I thought if you move back to our bedroom and we sleep next to each other, you will feel again something... anything for me."

"Oh Rupert..."

To be continued...


	19. Chapter 19

"I'm so sorry," whispered Clarisse guiltily. "But I didn't know about this, all I can see was... "

"No, you don't have to say anything." the King softly stopped her. "I would have told you really, but I just wanted to shake you up a bit, I..."

"... But it worked backward."

"I know and I'm terribly sorry... Look, I know I was too hard on you."

"Yes, you were," she sniffled, her eyes were teary. "And it hurt so much, especially from you."

"But I didn't want it this way."

"..."

"Do you believe me?" he asked, searching for her eyes. "Clarisse, I would never hurt you..."

"... I know," she answered barely audibly.

"Maybe I didn't show you lately, but you have to know that you mean everything to me." he kept the eye contact, literally bewitching her. "And I miss you... I miss you so much." he whispered, stroking her face, but before he could kiss her she pulled away instinctively. "Sorry..."

"No, I'm sorry," she finally regained her senses. "But I can't do this."

"It's okay... I perfectly understand it," he held up his hands. "I know our marriage is dying, but I'm sure we can still save it if we really want it. Clarisse you want it, right?"

"..." she just stared at him with glassy eyes, feeling that her brain doesn't work.

"Clarisse... please, just give me a chance. That's all I ask... okay?"

"..." she just nodded, because she wanted nothing more than to get out of his office. "I have to go now..."

OOOOOOOO

Clarisse barely could stand on her feet as she left her husband's office. She was totally confused and felt unlimited remorse... remorse towards Joseph and her husband also, but she could not decide which feeling was right and which was wrong. She hated herself... hated for something she could not explain, while she felt thousands of feelings at the same time. There was only one thing, what she was sure about... that she needs time. A few hours alone could clear her mind, but as she reached her suite she quickly went to bed and pretended to be asleep, otherwise Joseph would ask a lot of questions what she would not be able to answer...

Joseph arrived back a few minutes later than her, and after he realized that she was already asleep, he made himself comfortable in the armchair next to her and dozed off a bit... but soon he woke up on crying...

"Clarisse?... You okay?" he asked softly as he moved closer, stroking her back.

"..."

"Hey, what's the matter?"

"..."

"Don't you want to tell me?" he kissed her head gently, "...I just wanna help."

"I know," she finally spoke.

"What's the matter?"

"Could you..." she turned to face with him, "Could you bring me a cup of tea first?"

"... Of course." he said softly, stroking her arm. "I'll be back in a minute."

OOOOOOO

In the kitchen...

"You can't sleep?" asked Charlotte with a smile, looking up from her coffee as Joseph stepped in.

"I've just wanted to ask the same."

"Well," she took a sip. "I have a lot of things to do so I start early, but you're not. So come on, what's the matter?"

"I'm just making a tea for Clarisse," he turned the kettle on. "You know she is not quite okay recently, but I think it's normal... I mean it would be a hard time for everyone."

"How you mean she's not okay?"

"She's crying..." he took out a pack of earl grey.

"Oh."

"You know something, right?" he stopped.

"Well, not much... but His Majesty must told her something."

"No, it's not about that. They haven't talked since... since she swooned last night."

"Yes they have," she put down her cup. "After we said good bye on the corridor, I went back to arrange a few things and I saw her coming out from his office."

"Oh, damn it..." he hissed and ran back to her...

OOOOOOO

"Clarisse! What did he want?"

"What..." she was a bit puzzled, trying to sit up properly.

"Your husband... I know you were at his office." he grabbed her arm. " What did he want from you?"

"Nothing," she murmured.

"Clarisse..."

"I was the one who went to his office... I wanted to talk to him."

"...But why?!" Joseph was more and more upset.

"Just..." she tried to pull herself together. "I had to know that he really let me go or it's just a joke... and it turned out it was not."

"... Uh-huh," he nodded, but still looked at her. "And?"

"And what?"

"I mean what else did he say?"

"... nothing." she whispered, but she wouldn't have believed it herself.

"Please tell me... what were you talking about?"

"Nothing... just about ordinary things."

"And that's why you're crying..."

"..."

"Clarisse please don't do this to me. Tell me what happened..." he tried, but she just shook her head. "We can solve it whatever it is."

"No, we can't." she whispered and started crying again. "I'm a monster..."

"I'm sure you're not," he tried to calm her down. "Jut tell me what happened..."

"No..."

"Right," he sighed, "Then if you won't tell me, I'll have to beat it out of him," he said and tried to stand up, when she pulled him back. It worked...

"No!" she sniffled. "Okay, just please don't do anything..." and this time she told him everything, even if a bit slowly from crying,"... but I didn't let him to kiss me. I love you Joseph, please believe me." she was sobbing hard as she finished her story.

"Clarisse..." he said softly.

"I don't want anything from him..."

"Hey..." he stroked her arm to make her look at him. "You did nothing wrong, okay?"

"What... you're not angry?"

"Of course, not." he smiled. "The most important thing you have to understand that I have no doubts about us, okay?"

"Really?"

"Of course."

"After all the things I've told you?"

"Yes. I perfectly know and feel that you love me. Actually I knew it even before you."

"But I hate myself..."

"Because you're confused, that's all." he smiled.

"..."

"I can see this whole thing from outside, so let me explain it... you've been fighting for the love and care of this man since you married him, am I right?"

"Uh-huh," she just nodded.

"You fell in love with him when he saved your father's business..." he said and stopped for a moment absently. "Wait, what if he was the one who caused the trouble, so he could save him?... Okay, okay! I'm just saying..." He quickly stopped, because she started to freak out. "But remaining at the facts, you fell in love with him and you loved him on hundred percent, but you got barely nothing in return, correct?"

"Uh-huh," she just nodded, feeling more and more uncomfortable hearing the truth.

"Since I work here all I can see," he continued, "That he has complete power over you... while you're constantly looking for an excuse for him."

"No, I..." she protested immediately,

"Just remember the first time when you mentioned the sanatorium... he convinced you that YOU are the problem, because YOU changed a lot recently."

"That's true," she looked down.

"And you continually think that you're not enough, you will never be good enough for him. You're depressed and underfed. He is working you to death, forces you to sleep with him... and now," he barely could control himself. "Now he says he just wanted to HELP? And he did everything FOR YOU?"

"..." she was terribly ashamed.

"It's insane Clarisse!... And when he sees that you start to regain your senses after a long and hard marriage, where you lived under his rules, his oppression... and you realize another man around you, he suddenly change from this cold attitude to the husband of the century?!"

"..."

"He does it because he knows that he has power over you!"

"I know," she murmured.

"But you don't have to be ashamed of it..." she looked up with teary eyes. "Because it's absolutely normal that after so many years of yearning you hang on every little beam of hope," he stroked her arm gently. "And you just try to justify that it was not all for nothing... the love you felt for him over these many years."

"I know you're right Joseph... in everything, really." she sniffled, looking up at him. "But then why... why the hell I feel so miserable?"

"Because he washed your brain out..." he sighed. "Look, I really do think that you have to be somewhere else a little... where he cannot influence you."

"I know."

"Clarisse..." he took her hand, "Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then please don't think just pack whatever you want, while I'll call the doctor that you leave earlier, okay?"

"Yes," she nodded with a grateful smile. "And Joseph..."

"Don't say anything," he smiled and kissed her lovingly.

OOOOOOO

About an hour later Clarisse was already sitting in the doctor's car ready to go. As Joseph waved good bye to them, feeling a little relief... he turned back to Charlotte to ask a favor.

"It's a letter for the King..." he said with a serious look on his face, "Please give it to him, but two things are very important: he can only get it in the evening... and no one can know about this."

To be continued...


	20. Chapter 20

The journey to the sanatorium was quite a few hours long, but actually she didn't mind at all. As the distance slowly grew between them, her mind became more and more clear and that was a fantastic feeling... after many years of subjection she finally felt she could breathe again.

So when she arrived to the sanatorium she was completely relaxed. The doctor escorted her to a private room, where she found the whole place was more like a boarding house in the countryside than a sanatorium. Her room has flower printed wallpaper and chabby-chic furniture, giving it a holiday home feeling what she liked so much. There was already prepared some lemonade on her nightstand, from which she poured herself a glass and stood out to the little balcony. The world outside was simply amazing... the little inside garden was literally empty, but it was full of life at the same time. It was summertime, so everything was alive. Birds on the trees, beetles in the grass, while the sun warmed up not just the air but her heart also. It was that kind of a moment when you breathe in the sweet warm summer air and you know in your bones that a magical time awaits you...

She couldn't tell how much time she spent on the balcony, but as she went back to her room Joseph was already standing at the door. For a moment or so they just looked at each other and exchanged a knowing smile, they knew they've done it... and a moment later he was already hugging her tightly, finally feeling she really belongs to him.

Joseph's family home was about ten minutes away from the sanatorium and it was much bigger than he told her before... actually it was a huge estate with ancient trees, a lake and a beautiful imposing house on it...

"Dad!" cried Joseph happily, as he hugged the old man in front of him. "It's so good to see you!"

"Then you should come home more often."

"I know and I'm sorry... I have not much spare time you know."

"And as I see," he looked at Clarisse with a smile, "I start to understand why you work so much..."

"Oh, yes." he chuckled, "Let me introduce you to Clarisse," he turned around lovingly.

"Hello," she stepped closer, holding out her hand. "My name is Clarisse and I'm really grateful to be here."

"I'm Martin," he smiled shaking hands, "And you really do not have to be grateful my dear. I owe you thanks for bringing my son home to me... come, Joseph will show you the guest room upstairs. I'm sure you would like to relax a bit after this long journey."

"Yes, that would be fine indeed, thank you." she smiled sweetly.

"The guest room is upstairs, next to Joseph's old room." He explained. "I do not use the stairs about my knees, so the whole floor will be completely your place."

"That sounds nice."

"So just go and make yourself at home, while I'll start to prepare the grill for tonight... I've planned a little welcome party for the two of you. "

"Oh, how kind. I can't wait for it." she smiled gratefully, because this warm welcome was such a good feeling for her.

OOOOOOOOOOO

"What do you think..." started Clarisse on the top of the stairs, "I mean how much did you tell your father about us?"

"I just told him that I'll bring Clarisse home," he smiled mischievously.

"I see... and that means?"

"I'm sure he knows what it means," he smiled and added, "After all, I'm always talking about you."

"I see," she nodded, her eyes shining.

"Wait, that's not the guest room." he stopped her at the last moment before she would opened the door.

"Really?" she teased him, her hand still on the doorknob. "So I guessed right which room was yours... Don't you want to let me into your place?"

"Of course it's not about that, but I would need a few minutes." He chuckled, "You know a little advantage..."

"Oh, so you want to hide all the lipstick imprinted photos from your ex-girlfriends, right?"

"I'm really glad you think that."

"Okay..." she changed the subject. "So there's the guest room?" she pointed to the other door.

"Yes, come on. Let me show you." he smiled and opened it for her. "It's actually a brand new room, I mean no-one ever used it before."

"It's lovely and cosy," she smiled as she looked around.

"The bed is comfortable...I mean I hope," he chuckled, "And there's a private bathroom."

"Fantastic, then I think I'll take a shower first."

"Of course, whatever you want. I already forgot that you're in the same clothes as yesterday."

"Yes, and for now I start to feel a bit uncomfortable."

"Then just go to the bathroom, while I'll take your suitcases upstairs."

"Thanks," she smiled gratefully as he headed to the door.

"And one more thing," he turned back. "Take your time. I mean I would really like you to make yourself at home. Take a shower, then sleep a bit, anything you like. I do not want you to feel the urge to come down and chat. You're not a guest here, okay?"

"Yes, I perfectly understand it." she smiled sweetly and gave him a kiss.

OOOOOOO

The bathroom was cozy and tidy with an enormous bathtub in it. As she quickly filled it up with hot water and used some lavender fragranced bath cream, she let herself sink into the hot smooth water and closed her eyes what completely relaxed her... now she felt safe and warm, somehow who finally arrived home.

After the bath made its effect and she nearly fell asleep in the water, she slipped into a white fluffy bathrobe and laid down for a few minutes... what actually turned to three hours, so when she woke up she felt it was the most relaxing sleep she has ever had. The window was opened, letting in the sweet summer air... as she looked around she saw that Joseph took up her suitcases and a glass of iced tea with some fruits. She smiled instinctively on his sweetness as she refreshed herself with the juicy bits.

OOOOOOOO

After she dressed up comfortably she went out to the garden checking the boys...

"You look stunning." smiled Joseph, finding pleasure in the view as she stepped closer.

"Yes, because I feel so good." she answered with shining eyes. "The hot bath was amazing and I've never slept better in my life."

"I'm glad to hear that," Joseph put his arm around her and escorted her to the big garden table.

"That's all for dinner?" she asked amazed, looking at the various ingredients on the table. The colors and shapes were simply amazing. "It's beautiful..."

"Just taste whatever you like," Martin turned around with a smile from the outside stove. "I love trying new combinations."

"Yes, Dad is a real hobby chef. He has an enormous vegetable garden, many kind of fruits and a beehive in the end of the estate."

"Bees?" Clarisse was a bit frightened.

"Yes, but don't worry, they won't hurt you." he smiled. "Tomorrow I'll show you everything."

"Okay." she nodded relieved as Joseph stroked her back lovingly. "Um... can I help you with the dinner?"

"Just enjoy your time," said the old man kindly. "I've heard about your eating problems... but you will surely recover soon, believe me." he winked, what Clarisse rewarded with a shy smile. "Just taste and try whatever your eyes like. There are no rules..."

"Thank you... really." she smiled, "Then I think I would like some corn, it looks so nice."

"Very good choice." agreed Martin, and seeing as Joseph kissed her head, he added "For both of you."

The grill party was slow and relaxing. They chatted a lot, while she ate quite a few things, what was a nice surprise for herself also.

"I think it's time to say good bye for me." said Martin after a while, "It's almost ten o'clock and my tv show is just getting started."

"Good night, Martin." she said kindly. "And thanks for this lovely evening, I really enjoyed it."

"The pleasure is mine," he smiled and took a last gratified look at his son, who cuddled on the bench with Clarisse.

"A penny for your thoughts?" asked Joseph fondly, stroking her arm as they remained alone. They were just sitting there, looking at the sky full of stars.

"I'm just happy..." she sighed, snuggling closer. "Utterly, tremendously happy to be here with you."

"Because you belong here," he remarked with a smile as he kissed her head lovingly.

OOOOOOOOOO

At the King's office...

"That's all for today Charlotte?"

"Yes, Sir." she nodded and gave him a big pack of documents he had to sign as he sat down at his desk. "Oh, and there's one more thing."

"Hm?" he looked up nonchalant.

"Here's a letter from Joseph," she handed it.

"Oh... it seems he finally realized that he has nothing to do here," he smiled with satisfaction as he opened it, but a moment later he brushed everything down from his desk without any warning and rushed out shouting, "...That bloody bastard!"

Charlotte was used to his manner, but now she was really frightened for a moment from his vehemency. As she remained alone, she leant down and picked up Joseph's letter from the ground... it was just a single line...

"You will never see her again."

To be continued...


End file.
